I'm at work and I'm about to cry. I don't want to cry, can you say something funny?
ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE
This kills me every time
"TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN"
what has four letters and is very hard
I had my hands full but I needed to turn on my light
so I just used my mouth and flicked the switch up with my tongue
and then I realized
WHY DOESN’T THIS HAVE MORE NOTES?! THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!
THIS IS THE BEST
the best part is you literally turned him on
ahh yes 2014. the 2014th year. 2k14. 2014 years since year 0. the big 2014. the year of 2014. two thousand and fourteen. the ol 20 14
THE AMOUNT OF THINGS I HAVE TO DO AND I’M SITTING HERE REFRESHING MY FUCKING DASHBOARD OVER AND OVER AGAIN I HATE THIS FUCKING WEBSITE
Charles Bukowski (via bittersweetsongs)
Wow bukowski so profound do you also bathe fully clothed you dickhead. “Oohh isn’t it funny that a person will eat when they’re hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face”
With a sense of humour.
This gif set makes me so angry at the supernatural fandom.
shouldn’t it concern people that kids get more excited about not going to school than about christmas or their own birthdays
THE ENTIRE SCHOOL WOULD HATE YOU
JINGLE JINGLE, MUTHERFUCKER.
It’s almost as bad as mum season.
What the fuck is a mum?
OH MY GOD. IS IT REALLY A TEXAS ONLY THING?!
For Homecoming, students make these THINGS from HELL that have excess amounts of ribbons and bells and they wear them all the time. They are usually placed on prize winning livestock, but somehow they made their way into schools. They have huge mums at the top, and they just get bigger and bigger each year. Sometimes they are completely covered in them. One day the students are just going to morph into one.
You knew when the season was coming because you could hear a horrifying jingle in the distance while you sleep.
They cost hundreds of dollars to make, or buy pre-made for the bigger ones. The bigger the better, and the more souls you sacrificed to get it.
What the fuck, Texas?
You don’t understand: homecoming is serious business here.
Also… is this REALLY a Texas only thing?
1. What the hell is your definition of a mum all I can see is these kids carrying their mothers around on their backs 24/7
2. I thought Homecoming was like a big dance at the end of the year, like Prom?? Why is there livestock at homecoming??? I dont understand???????
whAT THE FUCK IS A MUM IN THIS CONTEXT I’M SO CONFUSED